Unstoppable
by gredandforge909
Summary: The stress of the OWLs is over, at last, and sixth year is an empty road for the Gryffindor sixth years to drive on. Follow the people who came before Harry Potter, and see how they cope with everything that's thrown at them. A Marauder novel.
1. Chapter 1: The Train Ride

_**Unstoppable**_

_The stress of the OWLs is over, at last, and sixth year is an empty road for the Gryffindor sixth years to drive on. Sure, there are rumours about strange things happening outside Hogwarts, but that wouldn't affect them, would it? They were supposed to be _unstoppable_. _

_Follow the people who came __before Harry Potter, and see how they cope with, well, everything that's thrown at them._

_By the way, I'm absolutely aware that this particular type of fanfic is well trodden territory, but I thought I'd give it a crack myself as it's a fairly straightforward context in which I can write my first piece. Hope you enjoy :)_

_gredandforge909_

**Chapter 1: The Train Ride**

_In which our brave heroes are introduced, Hestia begins her hatred of the system, Peter goes through a rigorous, and entirely accidental, fitness programme, Sirius finds himself in an embarrassing situation on the floor, and Lily has her first tantrum of the year._

Hestia Jones' long black hair swung in front of her like a thick pendulum as she struggled to drag her trunk down Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. The trunk was swollen, with books bulging out of the top. Hestia stopped, huffed, and irritably pushed her hair out of her face before continuing to drag her school equipment down the platform. The hair fell back down in front of her face.

"I'll show her how many bloody books I can drag to school," she muttered angrily. "What does she think? Of course I can bloody well take eight NEWTs. Stupid fucking McGonagall." She continued hissing and cursing her way down the platform, her hair now firmly stuck in front of her eyes. It was incredible that she could see at all, and, indeed, heads were turned towards this cursing, hissing, blind individual dragging her heaving luggage down the platform.

The gleaming, red express train belched a cloud of smoke out into the station, and, for a while, Hestia and all the other individuals and families on the platform were submerged in the train's fog. When it eventually disappeared, Hestia had finally reached the end of the train, and was, with great effort, trying to lift her belongings onto said express train. She continued her vain endeavours for several minutes until a smaller teenager, blond hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, hurried up to her from the crowd and helped her lift the offending item onto the last carriage of the Hogwarts Express with ease.

Peter Pettigrew turned to his classmate, grinning, and said, "That taught that stupid trunk a lesson. 'Ow many bleedin' books you got in–", but Hestia had already puffed her cheeks out huffily and turned on her heel to storm back down the carriage to find a compartment. It would have been quite a cold dismissal, but she tripped over a stray bag on the floor, and narrowly avoided falling to the ground, so the effect was somewhat ruined. Peter, just to make sure she wasn't hurt, made to race off after her, but was held back by a hand on his shoulder.

Sirius Black, looking as unruffled as always, flicked his shaggy mane of hair out of his eyes, and tossed his mate a casual smile, his grey eyes filled with humour. "What's the world come to, my fine friend? You play the part of knight in shining armour and just get the cold glare." He snorted, and said, "Come on, let's find us a compartment. I can't be arsed to wait for Smoko."

Peter returned the grin. "What 'bout Moony? D'you have no int'rest where little Remy is?"

"Being a perfect prefect, isn't he?" Sirius sounded derisive, as he did whenever the topic of Remus Lupin's prefectship cropped up in conversation. "Anyway, I want you to tell me about your holiday, Petey Boy."

"I saw you yesterday, you mug, din't I? You need yer memory checked out, mate."

"Hey, yesterday was a long time ago," said Sirius in a mock-hurt voice. "Anyway, I needed my beauty sleep last night, and you know how that makes me forget things. I need not tell you how spectacular I'm looking today. The female population of this fine establishment will be swooning." He finished with a twirl of his robes as if to illustrate this fact.

Peter fake-swooned, and his knees buckled as he fell onto the floor.

"Don't worry; I'll give you the kiss of life," said Sirius in a high-pitched voice, springing dramatically towards Peter and beginning to bend over him.

Thus, Hope Davies and Emma Thomas entered the carriage to the sight of Sirius sprawled over Peter on the floor, attempting to kiss him, while Peter resisted his advances. Hope gave a loud chuckle and rolled her eyes, while Emma looked mortified. Hope was a tall girl with dark skin and long, black hair that fell back onto her shoulders. She almost constantly had a twinkle of laughter in her large brown eyes – Sirius often compared her to the venerable headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, in this respect. The 'Sirius-patented Eye-Laughter Twinkle' was very much evident here as she took in the situation before her. Emma Thomas, on the other hand, a petite girl with a perfectly-shaped face and hair that draped itself down over her face delightfully, was horror-struck at the scene occurring between Sirius and Peter.

"Sirius, what the fuck are you doing?" Emma politely inquired, after she had regained the ability to speak.

Sirius immediately rolled off his companion and jumped to his feet in one elegant movement, dusting himself down, and not looking embarrassed in the slightest. "Don't blame me. It was Pete – he had me under the influence of. He's scary, trust me. Now, ladies, must dash," he finished, before adding, as he rushed out of the door, "Did you like the stylish roll and recovery, by the way?"

Peter followed quickly, completely red-faced.

"Shame about that, eh Emma? I know you had your eyes on him. But I suppose any hindrance caused by your targets' sexuality hasn't prevented you before."

Emma Thomas was left spluttering in the open doorway as her friend breezed past her to follow Sirius and Peter. A deep chuckle could be heard from the carriage she entered.

As the platform conductor gave a whistle to indicate that the Hogwarts Express was about to leave, one last figure burst, seemingly out of thin air, through the platform barrier. An unlit cigarette dangled limply from his mouth and he carried a trunk in his arms. He looked only half-dressed, with only one arm in his grey cardigan.

The glistening train began to move slowly out of the platform, and the doors slammed shut, but the hazel-eyed teen kept running at them. The forgotten cigarette fell out of his mouth, and the parents left on the platform looked on at his progress, shocked. He eventually reached the train and jumped onto an improbably small ledge, upon which he balanced himself as the train picked up speed and left the gaping parents behind.

The platform grew smaller and smaller until it was only slightly larger than a speck on the landscape, and the messy-haired teen still clung onto the edge of the train. Eventually, after several long minutes of this bizarre scene, the door was pulled open and James Potter collapsed gracelessly into the carriage, beneath the feet of another shaggy-haired young man.

"Still not perfected the unfashionably late arrival, then," said Sirius Black disdainfully, and he sauntered back to his compartment.

With his face pressed into the red, carpeted floor, James Potter breathed a huge sigh of relief.

He picked himself up and wandered past the various compartments until the end of the carriage (it would have to be someone else's job to close the door he had just entered the train through, of course), and finally feasted his eyes on two of his favourite people in the entire universe.

"Took your bleedin' time, you idiot. You nearly made me get up an' look fer you," said Peter Pettigrew.

"Glad I mean that much to you, Wormy." James joined in the verbal jousting, but looked slightly disappointed though at the lack of an awed response to his escapade.

"I know what you're thinking, Prongs, but the leap of faith would have been better if you hadn't needed me to bail you out as usual." Sirius looked his friend up and down, before adding, as an afterthought, "And I need to take marks off for losing your fag, mate. A man should never lose his fag," he added sagely.

"And the whole one-armed thing with the cardie don't really work, mate," said Peter critically.

The man known as Prongs looked annoyed with himself. "It was my bloody mum, making me eat a four-course bloody breakfast. I had it all planned out."

"Excuses, excuses, Prongsy. You always need a plan B. And, excuse me, I was with you for the whole bloody morning – so the whole 'home troubles' shit doesn't wash with me."

James Potter pulled a 'how could you betray me?' face, as Peter snorted loudly.

"Anyway, passing over that incident," began James, "What have I missed?"

"Don't ask," said Sirius, before Peter retold the story of the morning's events with extra detail.

"I never knew you had it in you, Pads. Coming out in front of Davies and Thomas too. Brave, very brave."

Sirius didn't look particularly bothered, it must be said, but the ribbing continued in this vein for quite a few minutes before the conversation, predictably, turned to Lily Evans.

"So," said James coolly. "Anyone seen Evans and her lot around?"

This was enough to set Sirius off into shameless and somewhat peculiar hysterics, but Peter was sympathetic to his friend. The norm was for James to pass off his infatuation with Lily as very little, and, generally, Peter and Remus tried to go along with this act, and pretend that James' obsession with the redhead wasn't so transparent to absolutely everyone that even had passing contact with him. Sirius, of course, would have none of that, and kept the Lily Evans card up his sleeve for any embarrassing situations he happened to be in. Nothing, of course, could be possibly more embarrassing than James' daily attempts to woo his fair maiden – all of them so far had been repulsed – so Sirius usually avoided any humiliation that his own antics may have inadvertently caused him.

Peter said pointedly, "No, but I've seen Jones, Davies and Thomas, and she wasn't with them, so she must be alone somewhere."

Again, Sirius was having none of it. "She's probably getting off with Moony in a candlelit compartment – little Remy hasn't been found yet, so I think that's the only remaining possibility."

It was a completely innocuous comment, but a light seemed to click in James. Sadly for all present in the compartment, the light wasn't a particularly pleasant colour.

Three seconds later, Sirius was folded up against the seat, sporting what was fast becoming a brilliant black eye, and James was looking murderous. "I'll kill him." He turned and charged recklessly out of the compartment.

"What the bloody 'ell d'you 'ave to say that for, Pads?" Peter raced off after his friend, hoping to save Remus from whatever horrific fate James had in mind for him.

Remus Lupin, also known as Moony, was completely unsuspecting of the whirlwind of anger that was currently racing down the train towards him. He was, typically, hidden away in the corner of the Prefects' Compartment, and staring gloomily out of the foggy window, not listening to the incessant droning of Head Boy Marcus Jamieson. Sat next to him was Lily Evans, who was, contrary to her classmate, rapt with attention towards the orders of the Head Boy for the year.

"...and it is crucially important that you act as peacemakers this year. The tension between houses has grown in the past year, and this must stop, so we have to act maturely this year." Jamieson finished his speech impressively, and looked around at his team of prefects, revelling in the silence that he had caused. However, the silence was shattered, annoyingly for the Head Boy, by two figures hurtling through the door of the compartment and bowling each other over.

Seemingly unaware of his surroundings, one of the new arrivals sat up and said exasperatedly, "He din't mean it, you prat. Whatchoo thinkin' of, runnin' off like that. You lost yer fuckin' brain cell, or summin? I'm fuckin' knackered now."

"Language, Pettigrew. You've already trespassed on a Prefects' Compartment, and you don't need any more trouble," said the Head Girl, Amélie Reglé, although she looked amused at the behaviour of Messrs Pettigrew and Potter. Marcus Jamieson, on the other hand, was seething.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor, and the two of you are in detention. Now get out!"

James ignored him completely and turned to face his friend, Remus Lupin. "See, he's sitting next to her. I bloody well knew it!" James stood up. "Lupin, get the fuck away from Evans, or I'll smash your face in," he said stupidly.

Remus looked positively bewildered at this turn of events, but was saved from having to say anything by Lily rising from her place, and she looked even more furious than James and the Head Boy put together, lines of anger etched into her face. She spoke coolly, though. "What is it that you're accusing Mr. Lupin of, Potter?"

"He...h-h-he," stuttered James (Lily Evans was the only known human being to have this effect on James). "He was feeling you up, wasn't he, the dirty sod?" Although James's bravery in this situation was unquestionable, it didn't do much to help him.

To say that Lily Evans exploded would be an understatement.

_A/N: Thanks very, very much for reading this far. I'll probably end up editing bits and pieces of this chapter, because the ending was pretty awful, but I was too caught up in my delight at having written a whole chapter :) Feel free to tear to pieces as much of this as possible, and I'll try to improve my writing as the story goes on. Thanks, gredandforge909_


	2. Chapter 2: Fireworks

Chapter 2: Fireworks

_In which our favourite knights gallant go questing after their 'misunderstood' friend, a loathsome and strangely familiar Slytherin prefect appears, a Hufflepuff saves the day, and someone impresses a third year. _

Despite any of James Potter's possible claims to the contrary, it was he, and not a certain Remus Lupin, who came off worse from the incident in the Prefects' Compartment on the morning of the 31st September. One hour after the conclusion of the start-of-year prefect meeting, the quartet of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs could be found in a lonely compartment at the end of the Hogwarts Express. Mr. Padfoot nursed a black eye, Mr. Wormtail nursed a stitch in his sides that refused to go away after the exertions of the day, and Mr. Prongs nursed a horrifically scarred ego, and possibly a pair of bleeding ears. Mr. Moony, on the other hand, had returned to gazing out of the window and brooding.

"Long time, no see, eh?" said Remus to the room at large, and he sounded distant.

Peter attempted to articulate his sentiments on this matter, but failed to find the breath, and sagged back onto the seats dejectedly. Sirius opined that it was unnecessary to give Remus a response. James growled viciously.

"Good OWL scores?"

Silence.

"Yeah, me too, but they could have been better."

"We've already talked about OWL scores, you mug, Remus. I don't want to think about exams already."

Remus ignored Sirius. "So, you three can go ahead and get the careers you want, then?" said Remus, slightly viciously this time.

Peter opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"I don't even see why I came back to Hogwarts this year. I mean, what's the point, huh? Obviously, when nobody treats me with any kind of respect, then..." Remus's voice trailed off, but his shoulders started to gently shake.

"Moony, I'm sorry, but what on earth are you talking about?"

He stood up, whirling round in fury at Sirius's rather insensitive comment, and the other three boys were shocked to see that he nearly had tears in his eyes. "What am _I _talking about? Don't you get it, you tactless berk." Remus's voice was rising uncontrollably. "I'M A FUCKING WEREWOLF AND I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING LIFE! I hate it all, and no one at this fucking school ever fucking understands!"

He extracted his wand from his jean pocket, and clutched it tightly, shaking all over. His fingers were white, and stood out starkly against the mahogany colour of the wand.

Sirius rose, hands raised in a gesture of peace, but he was thrown roughly back onto the seats.

The door of the compartment shattered, showering the boys with shards of glass, and Remus stormed out.

"Where the 'ell did that come from?" said Peter disbelievingly as the dust settled from Remus's explosion.

"I think Moony's having his monthly problems again," said James, in a rather inappropriate statement, considering what had just happened.

When they looked back on the morning, it really did seem incredible that it they had managed to fit so much angst in before lunch had even begun.

"I thought that we were on easy street after OWLs. I mean, wasn't this meant to be the stress-free year?"

Remus had been shipped off to the Hospital Wing already, ahead of the rest of the students, so it was only three quarters of the Gryffindor boys that were sat in one of the school carriages; vehicles that could, at best, be described as 'cosy'.

James looked absolutely sick as he stared out of the triangular window of the coach, and he had already gone through three entire packs of cigarettes since lunch, a record for him, and a sure sign that the day had gone badly. Even now the stench of cigarette smoke mingled with the outside scent of pines that passed the carriage by as it wound its way up the hill.

None of the three boys had yet recovered from Remus's earlier outburst and, more importantly, none of them had spoken to or even seen their friend since the incident.

"You better put yer fags away, Prongs. Prefects'll be 'ere soon."

Indeed, as Peter spoke, the gates into the Hogwarts grounds loomed into sight.

The leaden bars covering the opening into Hogwarts stood still in the night air, and were flanked by two large, stone pillars that emerged from the ground. Atop these pillars two huge gargoyles leered ominously down at passers-by, watching everything that went past them. Peter still shivered at the sight of them as the cold mist of the evening hung around them.

Standing like sentinels beside the pillars were two prefects, one holding a list, presumably to check names off. The two of them looked utterly disgusted at being within the company of one another. On the left was an affable seventh year Hufflepuff called Edgar Bones. He slouched against one of the pillars, looking thoroughly bored. On the other side, keeping her distance from Edgar was a toady-faced Slytherin, who held her nose in the air, and stared in contempt at her colleague. None of the three Gryffindors had seen her before, or, if they had, they did not remember her.

"Names and identity?" asked the prefect haughtily.

"Er, I'm Peter Pettigrew, but I din't know we needed iden'ity–"

"Who the fuck are you? Everyone knows us, you stupid bitch," interrupted Sirius angrily from the back of the carriage. He had been somewhat bothered by his evening being ruined by Remus's outburst, so was in a foul mood already.

The prefect raised her eyebrows, and gave a high-pitched cough. "I," she began pompously, "am Dolores Umbridge, and you have just lost your house fifty points, you ill-mannered lout."

A snarl came out of the carriage, and James stuck his head out the window, opening his mouth to say something. However, he was stopped by Edgar Bones, who lurched into action at the sign of trouble, and said in a soothing voice, "Calm it, Umbridge. I know who they are." He turned to the three boys in the carriage. "You can go through to the castle, lads. Where's Remus, though?"

"That's why we're in the rush, Ed."

"I'll catch you later, Bonesy."

The carriage rolled on through the gates of Hogwarts and up to the castle, leaving the unfortunate Hufflepuff to calm down the fuming Slytherin prefect.

"Why can't the fucking carriage hurry the fuck up?" snarled Sirius, who was getting increasingly tetchy as the pumpkin-shaped vehicle, seemingly moving of its own accord, trundled its way up to Hogwarts at an irritatingly slow pace.

Eventually, the impressive first view of Hogwarts Castle appeared before the three boys. On any normal occasion, this sight, no matter how many times it had previously been seen, would have knocked the breath out of any witch or wizard, but Sirius Black was not in any kind of mood to be impressed. He threw open the door to the carriage, and swung down from his seat, giving the side of the carriage a vicious kick as he passed, narrowly missing a flinching Peter Pettigrew, who was awkwardly making his own way to the safety of the ground.

"Piss off out of my way!" exclaimed Sirius, rudely shoving a third-year girl to the floor as he raced to the giant, oaken front doors of his school and home.

"I'm so sorry; 'e's in a bit of a mood," said Peter, making an apologetic gesture that was of little help at all, before he too scrambled up the front steps of Hogwarts, almost threatening to break into a run, such was his haste to follow his temperamental friend.

James methodically tucked his final packet of cigarettes back into his robes, before ambling towards the third-year girl, who still lay prone on the wet grass surface. He offered her a dazzling smile, helped her to her feet, and followed his friends on their quest to find Remus at his own leisurely pace, as the now-blushing girl stammered her eternal gratefulness to him.

A/N: There we go; second chapter! I'll be editing it, because I thought that the Marauders' argument at the start was very poorly written, but I just couldn't get it to sit right.

_Thanks to those who have read through my nonsense. Feel free to comment on/ praise/ tear to pieces, and please point out any spelling or grammar errors, because I'm picky about them. :)_

_gredandforge909_


	3. Chapter 3: Of Wings and Whiskey

Chapter 3: Of Wings and Whiskey

_In which a respected professional's quiet sanctum is disturbed, Remus is scared speechless by a terrifying assailant, and the Divination class finds itself several members short._

Colin Denton screwed the cap back on the small bottle of Sleepease potion and sighed heavily. It wasn't going to be an easy year, and that was the only thing that the school healer was certain of as he came into this school year. He had agonised for weeks over whether to remain at Hogwarts or not. He had a family to consider after all. However, his loyalty to Dumbledore and to the students won out in the end, and he once again found himself in his pokey office on the 1 September. But Remus Lupin being carted into hospital to be treated with several calming draughts and a drop of Sleepease was not what he expected. Colin needed to have words with Dumbledore: it was a war, for God's sakes! He would be busy enough as it was without any pathetic infighting from students.

He looked over at the now calm Remus Lupin, though, and remembered that he was a special case. He was the type of person that would suffer most in this war: werewolves, vampires, hags and the like had been targeted by Voldemort as recruits and had suffered the brunt of the wizarding world's rage in the last few months. Young Mr. Lupin certainly needed his secret to be kept under wraps as much as possible.

'BANG!'

Denton was jerked out of his thoughts by the doors of the hospital wing flying open. He grasped for his wand and spun around to face his assailant.

Sirius Black, by now red-faced with rage, had exploded through Mr. Denton's sanctum, and was presently bowling his way towards Remus Lupin's bed at the end of the room.

"I'll bloody well kill him!"

Remus jumped up in shock, tangled in his bedclothes, and fell pathetically off his hospital bed.

"You dickhead, Moony, what are you having a go at us for?"

Remus stammered incoherently, wide-eyed in terror at the onrushing monster.

"You nonce, Lupin, you're meant to be the calm one. What in Merlin's name are you doing, howling away at us like that?" Sirius raged on, storming towards his prey, and completely oblivious to the scandalised Healer who was gawping away behind him. "We're the _Marauders_, mate, we stay off each others' backs."

The who?" interjected Mr. Denton, as the third member of Hogwarts's most popular clique crashed through the large doors.

Sirius spun around, only now realising that there were more people in the room. It was a rather bizarre scene: Remus Lupin, trapped in bedclothes like a bizarre ghost, struggling away pathetically on the cold, white, sanitised floor; Sirius Black, standing in the centre of the room, his usually composed face flushed with anger; Colin Denton, the well-respected Healer, for once on the back foot, staring slack-jawed at the interchange that had just taken place and with his wand still held at shoulder height; and Peter Pettigrew, doubled-up, breathless, and red-faced with the exertion it had taken him to rush upstairs to aid his friend. For once in his life, James Potter was the only one who retained any sense of composure, as he strode purposefully into the room, barging the doors open for a third time in several minutes, hands stuffed into his pockets. He stopped abruptly, gazed around, and raised his right eyebrow. "What the fuck?"

HPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"Now, I know you have the natural disadvantage of not being me, Wormy, but I still think you can make it with the ladies. It's all about image, Wormy, all about image." It was the morning of the first full day at Hogwarts, and Sirius Black, checking his reflection in the back of a spoon, was imparting prudent and valuable relationships advice to Peter Pettigrew, who was merrily chomping his way through his fourth plate of breakfast.

It was rather subdued at the Gryffindor table, with yesterday's events still fresh in the mind of the sixth years. Lily Evans had chosen to sit closest to the staff table and furthest away from her classmates, and was chattering happily to a group of fifth years; Hestia Jones was engaged in a furious conversation with her Head of House, Minerva McGonagall, who was clutching a wad of timetables to her chest; Hope Davies was talking to James Potter, her long hair glistening in the artificial light of the Great Hall; Emma Thomas, remained in her dormitory, considering whether eyeliner was excessive on the first day back; and Remus Lupin, who had eventually been restored to a peaceful sleep, was still dozing in the Hospital Wing.

Lessons would be starting, and, for Sirius, Peter, James and Emma, that would mean double Divination with the old, and slightly batty Greek Professor, Cassandra Alexandrou. The organisational incompetence of said teacher meant that the sixth years tended to treat Divination lessons as optional, and today was no different. The three boys ambled out of the Great Hall at nine o'clock, oblivious to the hectic rush around them that signalled the beginning of lessons, and eventually reached the Gryffindor Common Room about twenty minutes later, after a short, and unnoticed detour to Hogsmeade which left them several galleons lighter and one bottle of Firewhiskey heavier. They found Emma, who had eventually decided that eyeliner wasn't at all excessive, at the stairs to the boys' dormitory, and two minutes later, all four were settled down in the sixth year boys' dormitory, ready for the obligatory morning tipple.

At 9:45, Sirius Black had launched into his first rant of the day, concerned as he was about the increasing prices of leeks in Nutrition Alley.

All was right in the world.

_A/N: I'm back, even though this chapter's very short! Sorry for the massive wait between updates – I've had real life problems (Gah!) and haven't really had any time to carry on with the fic. Sadly, updates might remain slow for the moment as my exams start in two weeks, and I'm trying to get into uni. But I promise that I'll keep this going whenever I can, and I'll have all summer to crack on with it. I know there hasn't been much/any plot so far, and all the action's been fairly one dimensional, but I'm still getting to grips with the characters and fleshing them out – I've got big plans for all of them! As usual, please review and leave as much constructive criticism as possible. Thanks to swimdiva and junebugbug for reviewing the last chapter. :D_


	4. Chapter 4: Late Night Planning

Chapter 4: Late Night Planning

_In which James declares his undying love for a special someone, Hestia redirects her anger against an easier target, and an intelligent discussion of mead and toilets takes place in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory._

James Potter and Emma Thomas were sitting in Professor McGonagall's office, writing lines. Unfortunately, Sirius hadn't been the only one to overdo the firewhiskey somewhat, and James had crashed into Transfiguration after missing the first two lessons, walked up to McGonagall's desk, and planted a wet kiss on her cheek, proclaiming to the class, "I love you Minnie!"

Sirius had managed to pull himself together before said lesson, and Peter, showing a rare example of common sense, had decided against drinking at all. However, Emma had been left in the boys' dormitory, totally incapable of standing up. Regrettably for her, Minerva McGonagall was far more observant of her class numbers than Cassandra Alexandrou, and had stormed up to the Gryffindor Common Room to find her giggling on the floor. As a result, she was now sitting alongside Mr. Potter, waiting for detention to end, while their stern Head of House marked some summer holiday homework at her desk.

Eventually, after what seemed like days, the strict Transfiguration teacher looked up from her marking, gazed austerely at the two offenders, and said, "You may leave now, you two. I must warn you, though, that any further inappropriate behaviour will be dealt with in a far harsher manner."

Emma was embarrassed enough by the situation to say "Sorry", but James, with a huge grin slapped across his face, cried, "It was a pleasure as always, Minnikins," and scarpered from the room before she could call him back.

The two headed off to the Common Room, chatting happily, until they met a grumpy-looking Hestia Jones, who was sitting on a bench on the third floor, hunched over some homework.

"Wassup, Hest?" asked James loudly.

His victim looked up, saw who had hailed her and narrowed her eyes. "I'm busy, Potter, so you'd better make it quick."

James looked briefly offended, but sat down next to her nonetheless, and was joined by Emma. "I am sorry, my dearest Hest, but you just looked like you might have needed a hand."

"I might appreciate the offer if it wasn't coming from you. You see, Potter, I just can't find it within me to trust anything about you. I wonder why that could be?"

Hestia unfortunately had a deep mistrust of the Gryffindor boys in her year that stemmed from an incident in their fourth year involving a juvenile prank against Severus Snape, a greasy-haired Slytherin from their year that backfired and hit her instead. To cut a long story short, James and Peter (Sirius had sadly been hospitalised that very morning and was unavailable for their slightly unoriginal trick) spent the day being chased around Hogwarts by a half-naked, soaking wet Hestia, who ended up cursing them so badly they were forced to join Sirius in Mr. Denton's Hospital Wing.

As a result, Hestia was now glaring at James in the third floor corridor, while Emma giggled behind them.

"I do apologise, O sweet one, and I would desperately desire to wind back the clock and repair our tragically shattered friendship. However, I did actually want to ask you something?"

Hestia raised her eyebrow.

"I was wondering if you happened to know, my lovely songbird, when a certain Miss Evans was on her prefect duties."

Hestia slapped him.

"Fuck off, Potter. I'm trying to work."

James had thankfully already been given a crash course in how to deal with angry girls, and thus realised that this was the time for him to depart.

Emma, also given a look of deepest loathing by her roommate, followed James back to the Common Room, where they were able to find Sirius, Peter, a newly-recovered Remus, and Hope sitting by the window.

Sirius, who had been eyeing up Louisa Parker, a fifth year girl who was sitting across the room, immediately turned to face James, and cried, "Mr. Lightweight has decided to return and grace us with his presence. All bow before the venerable Lord Lightweight!"

James, whose fragile ego had taken a beating from his encounter with Hestia and the subsequent mocking he had received from Emma, decided not to put up with any more verbal knocks, and instead gave Sirius a girly slap across the face, to which Sirius responded with a girlier scream. James then prompted to drag Sirius up to their dormitory. Nobody dared follow, for fear of interrupting one of their patented 'Meetings of the Minds', in which they planned their schemes for the next few weeks, and considered whether anybody (usually Snape) deserved to be hexed at breakfast the next day. Nobody was ever invited to these secret 'Meetings', not even Remus and Peter, and anybody who did accidentally walk in on these discussions often left the room with the effects of a series of nasty curses visible.

James bundled Sirius onto the floor, pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lit up, and took a long drag.

The two sat on their beds, enjoying several minutes of companionable silence while the room slowly filled up with cigarette smoke.

Eventually, James spoke up. "I reckon Avery deserves to get his head shoved down a toilet."

There was a pause as Sirius considered the matter. "I'm inclined to agree. I'm also of the belief that we need to pay back Moony for his little outburst earlier. I would consider emptying a keg of mead over his head tomorrow morning, but I believe that would be a waste of alcohol, and I don't think that would be a wise move."

"Hmm, it's a tough one, Pads." James took a long drag. "However, the easy availability of alcohol from the Hog's Head and the number of discounts offered to us by our good man Aberforth lead me to believe that we would be able to dispense with the mead, even if it is an entire keg."

The room descended once again into thoughtful silence.

It was nearly ten minutes before Sirius said anything again.

"Do you reckon Louisa Parker's fit?"

James pondered. "The fifth-year? With black hair?"

Sirius nodded.

"Yeah, I reckon you should go for her. Passes the time, doesn't it?"

"Mmm."

James suddenly looked serious. "Do you reckon I'll ever get Lils?"

Sirius tilted his head back, and gazed thoughfully into the roof of his four-poster. "Yeah, I don't see why not. You just need to bide your time, Prongsy."

This serious debate, which had lasted one hour, several cigarettes (the butts of which were lying on the floor), and about two minutes of actual speech, was sadly interrupted by a knocking at the door.

"Oi, you two! When the fuckin' 'ell are you gonna let us in." It was Peter, in his typically refined fashion. The pair of philosophers surprisingly walked over two the door and opened it. It turned out that Remus and Peter had been waiting outside for about half an hour, after everybody else had turned in for the night.

But then, that was how the Marauder hierarchy system worked.

_A/N: Another chapter finished! Hooray! Again, the plot aspect of this story hasn't made an appearance, but I'll get around to that eventually. Hopefully. As usual, please leave a review – I'm desperate for them! And I promise we'll get plot, and other characters next chapter. Honest :) – gredandforge909_


End file.
